My Strange Inability to Hate

​Today I met up with some friends for coffee (well, to be honest, nobody ordered coffee, it was actually beers). Amidst laughter and anecdotes, there was a moment when one of them started venting about a coworker.

​That she chases him around, that she is the boss's "pet"... basically, tearing her apart. And suddenly, a unanimous verdict. All three looked at me and said:

​—Well, nobody likes her... except Javi. And he doesn't even know her, but it doesn't matter. If he knew her, he would have already found her good side.

I thought about it while taking a sip of my beer. And they are right. I have an enormous virtue: I do not know hatred. It is a feeling that is not part of me.

But careful, let no one be confused.

I like to have a calm soul, yes. I try to go through life in peace, yes. But I am certainly no fool.

​I have character. Quite a bit.

​I have my moments and I defend what is fair tooth and nail. But having character is one thing, and harboring poison is quite another. I get angry, I say what I have to say, and five minutes later I've forgotten it. I don't know how to hold a grudge.

That's why, where others see reasons for eternal hatred, I see the lesson of those who subtract. I have analyzed all the people who have passed through my life and realized that even those who treated me poorly have left me something positive. They have taught me what I do NOT want in my life.

Knowing what you want is hard, because my dreams change and I evolve. Defining desire is shooting at a moving target. However, knowing what you DON'T want is an immovable certainty. Thanks to that bad experience, I know I don't want indifference. Thanks to that disappointment, I know I don't negotiate my peace. Thanks to the one who acted from darkness, I learned to immensely value the one who comes forward with light.

​In the end, my life works as an evolution filter. Whoever has contributed something positive continues to grow with me, sometimes close and sometimes far, but they are there. And whoever hasn't, simply served as a mirror for me to know which path not to take.

​So today, from this peace of not knowing how to hate (even if I have a temper if you push my buttons), I feel grateful to everyone. To those who cared for me and to those who failed me. Because thanks to all of them, I am clearer than ever about who I am and what I deserve.

​And you, are you able to see that the person who gave you a hard time is responsible for you being so clear today about what you will never allow again?